Las Vegas: Diverting kids from the Sin of Sin City

Want to visit Vegas but worried about losing your shirt? Concerned that Vegas is rather prone to leading the impetuous types like yourself into debauchery? Well here's the solution, take the children along and they can divert you from some of the sins of Sin City. We managed to spend five busy days there completely devoid of drink, drugs, prostitution or gambling, much to the disappointment of the teenagers.

We spent most of our family holiday in Las Vegas simply ambling up and down the strip. We wandered through the casinos and hotel foyers stretching from the Luxor where we were staying up to the Venetian at the other end. One day we blew $8 each on a 24 hour bus pass to take us right up to the zipwires above Fremont Street at the Northern End.  

In "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas", which I chose to read whilst staying there, Hunter S Thompson wrote "No, this is not a good town for psychedelic drugs. Reality itself is too twisted.” 45 years on, this quote seems even more apt. What made an architect think that Venice would be enhanced by re-arranging its major sights, adding travellators to the bridges and propellers to the gondolas, then dropping it all onto the strip? Where better to site a flamingo-themed nature park than as the centrepiece of another casino?  Why had no-one previously thought to pack the square beneath the Eiffel Tower with slot machines? Why did Italian Renaissance sculptors leave their artistry open to the skies rather than painting some white fluffy clouds on the ceiling above them? Don't pyramids look better when clad in blue glass rather than the blocky sandstone familiar to traditional archaeologists? Is a swimming pool not exciting enough unless its separated from an adjacent shark tank by a Perspex screen? Why should there be any water under the Brooklyn Bridge? Where else is Trump Tower the plainest building on the street? Why should a fountain simply spurt water straight up into the air when it could be one of 1,000 synchronised dancing jets of water?

 Each hotel, casino, shopping centre and pool resort seemed crazier than the one before it. This is the extreme nature of Vegas, and it's fascinating for the whole family. The continuous bombardment of incredible sights kept everyone's mind occupied, the air conditioning providing welcome respite from the intense heat outside. And best of all – strolling through it is all free.

 A trip to Vegas isn’t complete without a show, and there is plenty of choice even when you are limited to family friendly performances. We opted for tickets for Criss Angel, an illusionist apparently much better known in America than Europe. Whilst there were aspects where our 9 year old daughter had to cover her face – the lady being cut in half by a massive circular saw being one memorable interlude – the overall show was magnificent. It varied from close-up coin tricks, to spectacular transformations of people and objects, all moved along swiftly by a varied cast of entertainers. The climax of the show was the most incredible levitation trick, it simply defied belief. He tactfully weaved in an appeal for childrens cancer charities, and seemed to use the levitation to show their dreams lifting them into the air. This was a show that was really worth seeing.

We might have missed out on the sin, but we can always go back later. Our 13 year old is already planning a boys trip when he’s old enough to drink in the US, perhaps he’ll take his parents. In the meantime, taking away the bad habits unveils a fantastic eye-opening experience.

Grand Canyon: Its a very Big Gorge

The one pleasant aspect of jetlag when travelling West is that the whole family wakes early the next morning. We took advantage of this on our Vegas trip and headed off in a hire car into the desert as the sun was rising. We stopped at the fantastic South West Diner in Boulder City for our first proper American breakfast since New York last year. As usual, we hugely over ordered pancakes, one portion being plenty for 2, even without the accompanying bacon and eggs. It was delicious food, and the kind of service and attention that small-town America really excels at.  

We could have spent hours there, but our target was really the Grand Canyon, so we headed back onto the road, past "Guns & Burgers", past the world’s largest monster truck (isn't America marvellous), up into the mountains, eventually getting to the Hualapai Reserve mid morning. From here a fleet of buses distributes tourists around five suggested stops along the canyon; of which we selected the two that appeared to offer the best views. One of these includes the famous "skywalk", a U-shaped glass bottomed walkway stretching out above the canyon. Below our feet there was nothing to interrupt our line of sight, 3,000 feet down the cliff sides to the tiny trees below, and the seemingly minuscule trickle that is actually part of the mighty Colorado river. 

As spectacular as this was, it was the wildness of the Canyon itself at the next stop that was truly breathtaking. Every aspect of its scale was immense, in every dimension. The harsh beauty of the brown rocks, the jagged cliffs with seemingly no base to them left us awestruck. No photograph could do justice to the vastness of the landscape, the vista filling all directions from the rocky outcrop protruding into the canyon where we stood.

From an overwhelming natural wonder to an immense man-made wonder; we paid a fleeting visit to the Hoover Dam on the way back to Las Vegas. On any other visit this would have stunned us for the immense feat of engineering that it is. However, it was going to be tricky to follow on from the Grand Canyon. Even so, it's an incredible sight, and despite missing out on the full tour, the information boards provided a good explanation of the dam's construction and its immense electricity generating capacity, enabling the development of vast cities like Las Vegas and Los Angeles. Behind it stretches the magnificent arc of the Mike O'Callaghan–Pat Tillman Memorial Bridge providing another superb feat of engineering.

We rarely drive when travelling, mainly because it causes us to bicker rather than for any principled environmental stance. However while we had a car for a day, we stopped off in a shopping outlet on the edge of Las Vegas, actually spending a few hours there rather than the few minutes I had in mind. Shopping is just so much easier in America than Europe, the shops are big enough to cope with lots people, and the staff are invariably knowledgeable and helpful. So fully kitted out with sportswear for the approaching school year, we returned to Las Vegas as the sky grew darker and the lights grew brighter.

For kids dealing with Jetlag, the answer is simply to get up early and get on with the day. And do something interesting. Our 4 stops that day were different yet individually brilliant, but we would have struggled if we'd started later.