Las Vegas: Diverting kids from the Sin of Sin City

Want to visit Vegas but worried about losing your shirt? Concerned that Vegas is rather prone to leading the impetuous types like yourself into debauchery? Well here's the solution, take the children along and they can divert you from some of the sins of Sin City. We managed to spend five busy days there completely devoid of drink, drugs, prostitution or gambling, much to the disappointment of the teenagers.

We spent most of our family holiday in Las Vegas simply ambling up and down the strip. We wandered through the casinos and hotel foyers stretching from the Luxor where we were staying up to the Venetian at the other end. One day we blew $8 each on a 24 hour bus pass to take us right up to the zipwires above Fremont Street at the Northern End.  

In "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas", which I chose to read whilst staying there, Hunter S Thompson wrote "No, this is not a good town for psychedelic drugs. Reality itself is too twisted.” 45 years on, this quote seems even more apt. What made an architect think that Venice would be enhanced by re-arranging its major sights, adding travellators to the bridges and propellers to the gondolas, then dropping it all onto the strip? Where better to site a flamingo-themed nature park than as the centrepiece of another casino?  Why had no-one previously thought to pack the square beneath the Eiffel Tower with slot machines? Why did Italian Renaissance sculptors leave their artistry open to the skies rather than painting some white fluffy clouds on the ceiling above them? Don't pyramids look better when clad in blue glass rather than the blocky sandstone familiar to traditional archaeologists? Is a swimming pool not exciting enough unless its separated from an adjacent shark tank by a Perspex screen? Why should there be any water under the Brooklyn Bridge? Where else is Trump Tower the plainest building on the street? Why should a fountain simply spurt water straight up into the air when it could be one of 1,000 synchronised dancing jets of water?

 Each hotel, casino, shopping centre and pool resort seemed crazier than the one before it. This is the extreme nature of Vegas, and it's fascinating for the whole family. The continuous bombardment of incredible sights kept everyone's mind occupied, the air conditioning providing welcome respite from the intense heat outside. And best of all – strolling through it is all free.

 A trip to Vegas isn’t complete without a show, and there is plenty of choice even when you are limited to family friendly performances. We opted for tickets for Criss Angel, an illusionist apparently much better known in America than Europe. Whilst there were aspects where our 9 year old daughter had to cover her face – the lady being cut in half by a massive circular saw being one memorable interlude – the overall show was magnificent. It varied from close-up coin tricks, to spectacular transformations of people and objects, all moved along swiftly by a varied cast of entertainers. The climax of the show was the most incredible levitation trick, it simply defied belief. He tactfully weaved in an appeal for childrens cancer charities, and seemed to use the levitation to show their dreams lifting them into the air. This was a show that was really worth seeing.

We might have missed out on the sin, but we can always go back later. Our 13 year old is already planning a boys trip when he’s old enough to drink in the US, perhaps he’ll take his parents. In the meantime, taking away the bad habits unveils a fantastic eye-opening experience.